Joy Is Everywhere

A pompous clergyman was seated next to an overbearing attorney on a flight to Wichita. After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink orders.

The attorney asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him.

The attendant then asked, “The minister if he would also like a drink.” The minister replied in disgust, “I’d rather be savagely
raped by a brazen whore than let liquor touch these lips.”

The attorney then handed his drink back to the attendant and told her with delight, “I didn’t know there was a choice.”

Contributed by: Aimee

Where am I? How did I get here? Why does my head hurt? You’re in a hospital, sir. I’m with the police. We weren’t sure you were going to wake up. You had a golf club wrapped around your neck. Just tell us everything you remember.

Well, I was teaching my wife golf. Of course, I won every hole. But on the little par 3, 17th hole, we both hit right to the green, and we both putted right to the pin.

When I walked to the flag, I saw one putt had overshot, but the other ball had apparently sunk. I didn’t know whose it was, so I pulled the flag, looked in, saw it was her Spalding in there, and I said, “Looks like your hole, dear.” That was the last thing I remember.

Contributed by: Dee