Archive for January, 2008

Sleeping Arrangements

Thursday, January 31st, 2008

A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.

The farmer said “There might be a problem; you see, I only have room for two to sleep, so one of you must sleep in the barn.”

“No problem,” chimed the Rabbi, “My people wandered in the desert for forty years, I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for an evening. With that he departed to the barn and the others bedded down for the night.

Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door, there stood the Rabbi from the barn.

“What’s wrong?” asked the farmer.

He replied, “I am grateful to you , but I can’t sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn and my faith believes that is an unclean animal.”

His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him. But a few minutes late the same scene reoccurs. There is a knock on the door, “What’s wrong, now?” the farmer asks.

The Hindu holy man replies, “I too am grateful for your helping us out but there is a cow in the barn and in my country cows are considered sacred. I can’t sleep on holy ground!”

Well, that leaves only the lawyer to make the change. He grumbled and complained, but went out to the barn.

Yep, you guessed it! Moments later there was another knock on the farmers door. Frustrated and tired, the farmer opens the door, and there stood the pig and the cow.

Contributed by: Pat

Signs You’re Broke

Wednesday, January 30th, 2008

1.  American Express calls and says:  “Leave home without it!”

2.  Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.

3.  You’re formulating a plan to rob the food bank.

4.  You’ve rolled so many pennies, you’ve formed a psychic bond with Abe Lincoln.

5.  Long distance companies don’t call you to switch anymore.

6.  You look at your roommate and see a large fried chicken in tennis shoes.

7.  Your rob Peter…and then rob Paul.

8.  You finally clean your house, hoping to find change.

9.  You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.

10. Your bologna has no first name.

11. You give blood everyday… just for the orange juice.

12. Sally Struther’s sends you food.

13. McDonald’s supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.

14. At communion you go back for seconds.

Contributed by: MADDSis