Joy Is Everywhere

<><> “Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in?  I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.”  [Sue Murphy]

<><> “USA Today has come out with a new survey ….. Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.”  [Dave Letterman]

<><> “A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket.  You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?” she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, “I didn’t know there were any witnesses. Now I’ll have to kill you too.”  [Jaka Johansen]

“Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?”  [John Mendoza]

Contributed by: Sylvia, a great lady who always has the funny short jokes!

A dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse strapped around his neck. He walks up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it’s his turn to be waited on.

A man, who was already in the butcher shop, finished his purchase and noticed the dog. The butcher leaned over the counter and asked the dog what it wanted today.

The dog put its paw on the glass case in front of the ground beef, and the butcher said, “How many pounds?” The dog barked twice, so the butcher made a package of two pounds ground beef. He then said, “Anything else?” The dog pointed to the pork chops, and the butcher said, “How many?” The dog barked four times, and the butcher made up a package of four pork chops.

The dog walked around behind the counter, so the butcher could get at the purse and take out the appropriate amount of money before tying the two packages of meat around the dog’s neck.

The man, who had been watching all of this, decided to follow the dog. The dog walked for several blocks and then walked up to a house where it began to scratch the door to be let in.

As the owner opened the door, the man called to the owner, “That’s a really smart dog you have there.”

“He’s not really all that smart,” the owner replied.

“This is the second time this week he forgot his key.”

Contributed by:  Nicholas