Archive for January, 2008

Services Rendered

Friday, January 25th, 2008

A couple return from their honeymoon and it’s obvious to everyone that they are not talking to each other. 

The groom’s best man takes him aside and asks what is wrong.

“Well,” replied the man, “when we had finished making love on the first night, I got up to go to the bathroom and I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking.”

“Oh, I shouldn’t worry about that too much,” said his friend. “I’m sure your wife will get over it soon enough.”

The groom nodded gently and said, “That may be true, but I can’t get over the fact that she gave me $20 change!”

Contributed by: Jeannie

Self Importance

Thursday, January 24th, 2008

Dr. Smith died. When he got to the pearly gates, there was a very large crowd of people waiting to get into heaven. Dr. Smith went up to St. Peter and said “I’m Dr. Smith, and I want to get in there.”

St. Peter told Dr. Smith “Yes…yes…you need to go to the back of the line.”

Dr. Smith became indignant, and said “You don’t understand…my name is DOCTOR Smith!”

St. Peter again told him that he needed to go to the back of the line. Angrily, Dr. Smith complied.

Then Dr. Jones died. He went through the same scenario of going around the crowd and telling St. Peter that he wanted to enter the gates. As was Dr. Smith, Dr. Jones was told he needed to go to the back of the line and wait his turn.

“But you don’t understand! I am DOCTOR Jones!” He cried.

He was told again to go to the back of the line. As Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones stood in line commiserating, they saw another man walk around the crowd and approach St. Peter. This man was wearing a white lab coat and had a stethoscope around his neck. He said something to St. Peter, then entered the gates of heaven. Now Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones were irate!

“How come he did not have to wait in line?” Dr. Smith bellowed.

A guy further up the line replied “Oh, that’s just God. He thinks he’s a doctor!”

Contributed by: Hughes