Joy Is Everywhere

Tommy goes into a confessional box and says, “Bless me father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.”The Priest says, “Is that you Tommy?”

“Yes father, it is I.”

“Who was the woman you were with?”

“I cannot tell you… For I do not wish to sully her reputation.”

The priest asks, “Was it Brenda O’Malley?”

“No father.” “Was it Fiona MacDonald?”

“No father.”

“Was it Ann Brown?”

“No father, I cannot tell you.”

The priest says firmly, “I admire your perseverance but you must atone for your sins. Your penance will be five Our Fathers and four Hail Marys.”

Tommy goes back to his pew and his buddy Sean slides over and says, “What happened?”

Tommy replies, “Well, I got five Our Fathers, four Hail Marys and three good leads.”

Contributed by: Dennis

Three women were dressing after an aerobics workout and talking about their spouses. “My husband,” said the first, “is a marriage counselor. He always buys me candy or flowers before we make love.”"Mine is a jeweler,” the second said. “he always brings me a pearl or two before we make love.”

The third woman paused…. “Well,” she finally said, “my husband works for Microsoft. He just sits on the edge of the bed and tells me how great it’s going to be when I get it.”

Contributed by: Andrea