Joy Is Everywhere

A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against … get this ….fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of fabulous cigars, and having yet to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man filed  claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated that he had lost the cigars in “a series of small fires.” The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in a normal fashion. The man sued…and won.

In delivering his ruling, the judge stated that since the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable, and also guaranteed that it would insure the cigars against fire, without defining what it considered to be “unacceptable fire,” it
was obligated to compensate the insured for his loss.  Rather than endure a
lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the judge’s ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in “the fires.”

*** This is the funny part ***
After the man cashed his check, however, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used as evidence against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning the rare cigars and sentenced to 24 consecutive one year terms.

A little old ladies phone rings late one night and she answers it.

“Hello,” a deep voice on the other end says, “I know you, you’ld like me to push you down on the bed and rip all your clothes off, lick your body all over and make rough love to you.”

The old lady looks at the phone blushing and in amazement and replies, “You can tell all this from a single ‘Hello?’”

Contributed by: Peter